If you’re currently dealing with a break up and you’re asking yourself “how to get my ex back?” then please recognize that you’re not alone. Just about everyone out there has been through this ordeal. And unlike a lot of things that you’ll deal with in life, break ups are not something that gets easier, regardless of how many times you deal with them.
If the relationship wasn’t completely terrible to begin with, the majority of people spend a period grieving after the break up. Actually, that can apply to unhealthy relationships as well, though it seems like a terribly unhealthy idea to get back with an abusive ex, regardless of the type of abuse. If you’ve recently ended that sort of relationship, consider it a great thing. Do not ask yourself how to get my ex back.
When I was learning how to get my ex back, I realized a few things. Relationships tend to fall into predictable routines. Everything starts off rosy and amazing, and everything is perfect. The two partners are perfect in each others’ eyes. Then once you get to know each other and the novelty fades a bit, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change. Something that seemed to be a minor annoyance will begin to grate on your nerves in a way that you never anticipated.
A very appropriate saying in this instance would be “familiarity breeds contempt”. Once you’ve settled into a normal routine with your partner and become comfortable, this is when trouble will begin to brew. What was once fun has become standard, and even work. And often times, one of the two partners will not want to put in the necessary effort to keep the relationship running properly. Rather than attempt to make things work, one or both partners will want to end the relationship.
If you believe that in spite of what has happened, your relationship is worth saving, then you’ll need good advice on how to get my ex back. Regardless of who decided to end the relationship in the first place, it is very possible that you’ll be able to save the relationship by following these steps:
How to Get My Ex Back Tip #1: Apologize
If you want to learn “how to get my ex back fast” one of the most important things you can do is learn to say you’re sorry. If you don’t end up back together, this can still be one of your steps toward healing. Just make sure that you apologize for the right reasons, and not just apologize for the sole purpose of attempting to make up. That said, don’t blame yourself for everything that happened to ruin the relationship. Some of the blame could probably be laid on the other person as well.
However, you don’t want to get into an argument when you begin apologizing– don’t let your ex provoke one. One thing you should know when learning to the “steps to get my ex back fast” is that apologizing can lead to another confrontation. Try not to be defensive if this happens, and remember to keep yourself in check.
How to Get My Ex Back Tip #2: Heart-to-Heart Talk
Here’s the second step in learning “how to get my ex back”. Assuming your ex is willing to speak with you, plan a time where you can sit down together and have a chat. Do not beg, cry, or grovel, or corner your partner into doing this. If they won’t, simply move on to the next step in this process. Remember that you’re going to need to keep your emotions in check here. You don’t want to end up in another fight. Let your ex know that there will be no blame-naming in the conversation.
Try to keep an impartial point of view when discussing the issues. Keep things constructive rather than destructive when you’re going over issues, and the chances that things will work out for the better increase dramatically.
How to Get My Ex Back Tip #3: Give Your Ex Some Breathing Room
When figuring out the “how to get your ex girlfriend back fast” process, know that your instincts might lead you to smother your ex. This is something that you should absolutely avoid. You might want to spend time with your ex, but the feeling may not be mutual. Allowing your ex the proper breathing room is very important. If you give yourselves some time apart, this will allow your ex some time to think things through, and they might actually begin to miss you on their own without any effort on your part whatsoever.
How to Get My Ex Back Tip #3: Take Care of Your Mental and Physical State
No one wants to have to deal with the sort of stereotypically desperate, clingy sort of ex. You don’t want to be spending all of your time thinking how to get my ex back fast, what you should really be doing is working on making your own life better. If you’re not doing this, then you won’t truly succeed, even if you do get your ex back.
You certainly won’t end up as happy as you would be, and the chances that nothing will change and you’ll just end up breaking up again are much higher. Pursue the things that you’re interested in, go out to bars with your friends, just keep living your life and things will be much easier for you.
And if you’re not available when your ex calls, this can definitely work in your favor. They’ll be thinking to themselves “where are they? Are they having fun without me? Have they moved on?” and that will make them want you a whole lot more. Call them back the following day, and let them know you were tied up having fun. Trust me on this, they’ll be a whole lot more like to be asking THEMSELVES “how to get my ex back?” And that’s exactly what you want.